Vince Pérez
“I aim to promote understanding by educating church leaders and congregations about the compounded effects of racism, sexism, and clergy abuse on BIPOC survivors.”
Awake: Thank you for your willingness to share your story with our community, Vince. As we start, what would you like to tell us about yourself?
Vince Pérez: I was born into a devout extended Mexican-American family, where Catholicism was the bedrock of our lives. Baptized at just two days of age by my godfather, who was a Mexican monsignor and pastor of our church on the edges of Los Angeles, I grew up immersed in the rituals and traditions of the Catholic Church. As a child, I served as an altar boy, excelled in my studies, and earned the Catholic Ad Altare Dei and Eagle Scout awards in Boy Scouts. I felt a deep connection to my faith and community.
At the age of fourteen, in 1965, driven by my devotion to follow the teachings of St. Francis of Assisi and the expectations of my family, I made the decision to enter the Franciscan Minor Seminary at the Old Mission in Santa Barbara. This step felt like a natural progression of my spiritual journey. However, fate had other plans.
Q: Thanks for painting this picture of your upbringing. Would you be comfortable telling us a little about what happened next?
A: A friar who became my teacher, mentor, and confessor systematically groomed and abused me—sexually, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. His Latino background, charismatic personality, and respected status allowed him to quickly ingratiate himself with my family, becoming a trusted figure. This trust only deepened the betrayal and trauma of his actions. The abuse was relentless for the four years I boarded at St. Anthony Seminary. Several nights weekly he invaded the sanctity of the dormitory, subjecting me to his twisted desires. There were unnecessary “physical exams” that he performed monthly in his office bedroom. He forced confessions, having me kneel closely in front of him, trapping me in a perverse mockery of the sacrament. I never spoke a word to anyone at that time about the abuse as I felt very confused, shameful, and somehow complicit.
Q: Vince, I’m so sorry that you suffered in this way; it sounds like a painfully brutal four years. Could you pinpoint what has been most difficult or challenging about your journey as a victim-survivor?
A: Many things were truly difficult; it’s hard to choose just one. This priest who once seemed like family later officiated my first wedding. Little did I know then how deeply my unresolved anger would poison that union. My bride, a devout Mexican Catholic, became an unwitting target for emotions I couldn’t yet face.
Vince at 14, just after entering St. Anthony Seminary.
Years of intensive therapy finally revealed the truth: I harbored a profound spiritual rage, not just toward that priest, but toward God himself. This anger, long denied, had insidiously eroded my marriage, leading to its painful dissolution.
The aftermath was devastating. My ability to trust—others and myself—lay in tatters. Severe bouts of depression engulfed me, while PTSD haunted my days and nights. Only through confronting these demons in intensive psychotherapy could I begin to understand the depth of my spiritual wounds and start the long journey toward healing. I chose to confront my perpetrator, the Franciscan order, and the Los Angeles Archdiocese, and I did so with newfound courage. This process of confrontation became a catalyst for profound healing and clarity, allowing me to reconcile my past and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose. It was in about 2006, after years of intensive therapy, that I began to experience significant psychological healing.
Q: Your story shows that the wounds of abuse can last long after the abusive acts end, Vince. Thank you for helping us to understand that. It’s also good to hear about your healing process. Why have you chosen to share your story with our community?
A: I am choosing to tell my story for many compelling reasons. First, for personal healing and empowerment. By sharing my experiences, I am taking control of my narrative and reclaiming my voice. This act of storytelling is an essential part of my healing journey, allowing me to process my trauma and find strength in vulnerability. I also want to raise awareness. My story sheds light on the unique vulnerabilities faced by individuals from devout Catholic Mexican families. In this cultural context, priests are often viewed as unquestionable representatives of God, making it particularly challenging for victims to speak out or seek help.
I am committed to breaking the silence surrounding clergy abuse, particularly within BIPOC communities, which include Black, Indigenous, and other people of color, also referred to as the Global Majority. This silence stems from cultural stigma around discussing abuse, distrust of institutions—whether law enforcement, the Catholic Church, or other authorities—and a lack of access to trauma-informed, culturally sensitive support services. Survivors often struggle to find therapists who either share their cultural background or possess a deep understanding of their unique experiences. By sharing my story, I hope to challenge these barriers and encourage open dialogue.
We also need open discussion to address the systemic issues behind abuse. We need to confront the culture of clericalism and power imbalances that enable abuse, particularly in marginalized communities.
I’m also motivated to inspire other survivors, especially those from BIPOC backgrounds, to seek help, to heal, and to contribute to meaningful church reform. My story can serve as a testament to resilience and the possibility of healing and growth after trauma.
Ultimately, I aim to promote understanding by educating church leaders and congregations about the compounded effects of racism, sexism, and clergy abuse on BIPOC survivors. By telling my story, I contribute to a larger movement of transparency, accountability, and change within religious institutions. It is my hope that this act of sharing will help create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all survivors of clergy abuse, particularly those from marginalized communities.
Q: Vince, thank you for sharing all of this, including your passion for bringing about change by telling your story. As we close, what have you learned in your journey that you think other victim-survivors might benefit from hearing?
A: It is possible, over time, to achieve a healthy spirituality in the aftermath of abuse. Despite my darkest moments, I persistently sought to reconnect with God. However, my numerous attempts to return to the Catholic Church left me unfulfilled. Through earnest prayer and careful discernment, I felt the Holy Spirit gently guiding me towards the Episcopal Church and spiritual direction.
There, I discovered a welcoming and inclusive faith community that has become the cornerstone of my spiritual growth and a sanctuary for worship. This journey led me to enroll in a two-year spiritual direction program, serving a dual purpose: to continue my own development and healing and to eventually accompany fellow victim-survivors of clergy abuse, offering compassionate support on their paths to renewal.
As a member of Awake, I have found additional avenues for healing. This involvement has provided opportunities to share my story with others, offering hope and demonstrating the possibility of a vibrant spiritual life and renewed connection with God.
—Interview by Erin O’Donnell
Note from Awake: We extend heartfelt thanks to Vince Perez for sharing his story. We also want to acknowledge that every survivor’s path is different. We honor the journeys of all who have experienced sexual abuse by Catholic leaders and are committed to bringing you their stories. In addition to Vince’s story, we encourage you to read our previous Survivor Stories here.
If you have experienced sexual abuse, you can receive support through the National Sexual Abuse Hotline, 800-656-4673, which operates 24 hours a day. If you seek support from the Catholic Church, you can find the contact information for your diocesan victim assistance coordinator here. Also, Awake is always open to listening to and learning from survivors. If you would like to connect with us, we invite you to email Survivor Care Coordinator Esther Harber at estherharber@awakecommunity.org.
Awake is a community that strives to be compassionate, survivor-centered, faithful, welcoming, humble, courageous, and hopeful. We thank you for choosing your words with care when commenting, and we reserve the right to remove comments that are inappropriate or hurtful.
