“Without Saying a Word, You are Safe and Understood”: Reflections from Awake’s Second Annual Survivor Retreat
“It’s hard to express what it is like to sit in a circle of other survivors knowing that without saying a word, you are safe and understood. Strangers on Friday night become beloved allies and friends by Sunday. A common wound brought us together, but strength, empathy, and faith unite us.” — Patty
There are many things I love about my work as Awake’s executive director, but our annual retreat for abuse survivors has quickly become the highlight of my year. It is a profound privilege to share this transformative experience of community and support with those who have experienced sexual abuse by a Catholic leader.
When we hosted Awake’s first retreat last summer, the nerves in the room were palpable on Friday night. We were all entering into something new and gathering with people we had previously met only on Zoom. This year, the mood was very different. Twelve of the participants had shared a powerful experience last year and were overjoyed to be together again. That sense of joy and hope permeated the atmosphere, helping to put the eight new attendees at ease.
Retreatants and retreat leaders—some of whom are shown here—gathered at the lovely Cedar Valley Retreat Center in West Bend, Wisconsin.
This year’s theme was “Out of the Ashes,” which was inspired by one of our 2023 retreatants, who said she felt that she was finally emerging from the devastation of her abuse and the traumatic reporting process. Throughout the weekend, we drew on the metaphor of a forest fire that has caused immense destruction and left behind a blanket of ashes; while the forest will never be the same as it was before the fire, there is also space for new life and growth moving forward.
The retreat theme was “Out of the Ashes” - Of course we had to have a campfire!
We began on Friday by lamenting the losses caused by abuse and grieving everything that has been burned and destroyed. On Saturday, we took time to examine the landscape of our lives today and opened ourselves to presence—both the presence of this supportive community and the presence of God. On Sunday, we began to look ahead in hope to the new life that is emerging, like green plants emerging after a fire, sprouting up from the ashes. Saint Mary Magdalene was our companion throughout the weekend, as an intercessor and friend who personally experienced both trauma and new life in her journey alongside Jesus.
We were honored to hear personal reflections from five survivors, who shared words about their own journeys as part of each retreat session. These large group gatherings were followed by time for personal reflection and then supportive small group discussion. Our experience was anchored by three powerful prayer services—a Service of Lament, Service of Presence, and Service of Hope—as well as many optional prayer offerings like Mass, Reconciliation, the Sacrament of Anointing, Centering Prayer, and more. All of this took place at the serene Cedar Valley Retreat Center in West Bend, Wisconsin, a setting that wrapped our weekend in peace and beauty.
Join Us Next Year!
Awake’s next retreat is scheduled for July 18-20, 2025 in West Bend, Wisconsin. If you have experienced sexual abuse by a Catholic leader and would like to be notified when registration opens, please contact Survivor Care Coordinator Esther Harber at estherharber@awakecommunity.org.
It’s impossible to put into words the graces of the weekend, the amazing things that God did in that sacred space. Out of respect for the privacy of participants, there is much that I cannot share here but will continue to treasure in my heart. However, I do have permission to share these words from some of our retreatants, to give you a small glimpse of the impact of this experience:
The weekend included quiet time in nature.
“It was a blessing to be with other survivors, to laugh and cry and to lament and hope. I am not alone! Being together, I am affirmed, supported, and encouraged in my journey of healing … The Awake community I have grown to respect and love has helped me reclaim parts of my life I thought were gone. I'm forever grateful!”— Anonymous
“[This was] as compassionate, empathic, and supportive a Catholic community as I've ever experienced, not afraid to confront hard subjects and sensitive to the individual's experience.” — Colin
“This was the first time that I felt that I had space to grieve what I lost through my abuse, and subsequently begin to see the sprouts of new life coming out in my life after the abuse and trauma.”
— Anonymous
“The survivor community on the retreat is essentially a ‘beloved community’ that is a microcosm of what the Catholic Church should be striving to be!” — Bill
The Retreat Team was (l to r) Paul Fahey, Sara Larson, Esther Harber, and Laura Hancock.
“There was plenty of joy present; it was a gift, born out of profound mutual accompaniment and safety, to be able to laugh and share life's pleasures together, alongside the hard feelings.”
— Michael
“On this retreat I was able to experience genuine spiritual healing which I carried home with me. The compassion and understanding I received on the weekend touched me deeply.” — Carol
“I entered the retreat center unconvinced that I belonged, believing the lie that I deserved to be isolated in my pain. Every second of the rest of the weekend proved me wrong. I took new steps in courage and healing surrounded by beloved community, and watched as other survivors did the same.” — Natalie
It is truly an honor to bear witness to these steps of courage and healing. I can’t wait for next year!
—Sara Larson, Executive Director
Retreatants Offer Thanks
Many participants expressed gratitude for the numerous people who made this retreat possible, including volunteers, donors, and prayer partners. Amy shared this message to pass along to those who supported the retreat: “It still boggles my mind and touches my heart in a very deep way to think that there are so many of you that are genuinely willing to share your time, talents, and other resources for us, who have felt invisible for so many years of our lives and who could never have imagined that our suffering would matter to anyone else. No matter what you did or how small you think your contribution was, I assure you it was tremendously valued.”
